November 24, 2012 11:57 pm

Today, January 4, 2013, I re-moved into school after a 3 year absence. Its weird but so familiar. Nobody else is here so I'm alone again until tomorrow. The moving in process really makes me miss dad, he'd always be there for me when I moved into school. He missed me when I left just as much, if not more, than I missed them. He always did what he could to make it the best for us. He'd buy us so much food and drinks and stuff that we would run out of places to put it. But it was all out of love, looking back I realize it. He didn't want us t go without something or be hungry with nothing to eat. It's hard without him. There are so many things I should have done or said that I didn't. I didn't pay attention as hard as I should have when he taught me stuff. How could I be so stupid?! I believe he died on his terms, not going through anymore surgeries , or anything that would cost more money, but we all believe he died too young. I know God has a time for everything and everyone, but I don't even think dad thought it would be that soon. I got mad at him alot, and even bad mouthed him, but he is my dad and no matter what I still love him. I hate being alone, my mind can't stop thinking about him. Not saying I want to forget about him by any means, but it hurts so much.